Sometimes, I imagine a life we share. A life that I could have had with you. When i am feeling a little lost, low or lonely, I would allow myself to indulge in the fantasy of us holding hands, walking side by side along the streets. I would picture us in the kitchen making cherry pie, with flour-stained faces but with blissful smiles. I picture us at the beach, collecting sea shells, building sandcastles and splashing around the knee-deep waters. I picture us happy, no matter where we were and regardless of the length of shadows that were cast beneath us. I would picture the two of us, fitting each other perfectly, like two pieces of a family puzzle connected side by side. Without woe or worry. But we are not.
I take three steps for every half a step you take along the pavement. I rush to reach my destinations and always end up at least fifteen minutes earlier than the set timing while you cruise along to where you had to be in the last tewnty minutes. I believe in choosing sides once hearing them out, you believe in taking everyone’s perspective into consideration and call it a truce. I believe in speaking out. You cultivate silence. I fight for what I want, you are happy with whatever comes your way. When life throws me lemons, I try to make lemonade. When life throws you lemons, you say, “Actually, lemons are pretty good.”
I run. You walk.
I speed. You cruise.
I judge. You accept.
I speak. You listen.
I fight. You shrug.
I confront. You avoid.
I know that if we were to have started something, it would only end up in unhappiness. We would tussle over the littlest things, just because we cannot see eye to eye. Most of the times, I would be telling you what to do, because you would say you were fine with anything, even though you were not. I would get worked up over an argument, and I would want to settle the issue, but you would rather dismiss the issue and let bygones be bygones. None of us would have been wrong, but none of us would have been right as well.
Being with you would only result in bitterness and suppressed resentment. And the sad thing is, its not just the differences that keeps me away from you. Its the one common thing we share. Stubbornness. Corner pieces of a big puzzle. Never going to fit for one another and only to be kept at the far ends of one another.
Therefore, here’s me wishing you all the best and with all my genuine heart, I hope you find your matching piece of your puzzle.
But sometimes….when I am feeling hopeful, I would imagine that our puzzle, was of a 2 by 2 dimension. Then, the corner pieces would have fitted together perfectly, no matter how different they were.